Weddings are all about love, laughter, and bringing the best people together - and that means you! Couples spend so much time and care dreaming up every detail of their day, and they can’t wait to share it with you. Your energy, excitement and good vibes are a big part of what makes it all unforgettable. By showing up ready to celebrate (and maybe shed a happy tear or two), you’re helping to make the magic even brighter. To help you bring your A-game, here’s your ultimate cheat sheet of do’s and don’ts for being the guest everyone’s thrilled to have at the party!
DO...
✅ RSVP on Time and Provide Accurate Information
One of the simplest yet most impactful ways to support the couple is by filling out your RSVP promptly and accurately. A smooth wedding day hinges on accurate head counts and menu selections being submitted on time - essential for catering deadlines, venue coordination and seating arrangements. As Kasey Nixt, Event Coordinator at Holman's Table, points out, “There is nothing more frustrating for a bride and groom than the last minute scramble to try and find an extra plate of food or a seat for a guest who did not RSVP." Additionally, Nixt strongly encourages including any allergies or dietary restrictions when you respond to avoid any preventable emergencies - no one wants a 911 call to interrupt the celebration. And if you’re unable to attend, it’s completely fine - just politely decline so the couple can plan accordingly.
✅ Plan Your Arrival Time Carefully
Timing is everything when it comes to wedding etiquette! As Elise Sikes of Mintahoe Catering & Events says, "Showing up less than five minutes before the ceremony starts is a big no-no. Aim to arrive 15–20 minutes early so you have time to park, pop into the restroom and find your seat without feeling rushed. Bonus: It also gives you a few extra moments to soak in the excitement and the love before the festivities officially kick off!"
✅ Respect the Dress Code
When a couple sets a dress code, it’s for a reason - it helps create the vibe, keeps the photos cohesive, and honors the vision they’ve worked hard to plan. As Sydney Muench, Director of Catering & Events at Northern Pacific Center states, "If the couple took the time to set a dress code, it’s not a suggestion. Showing up in jeans to a cocktail wedding or white to someone else’s big day is outdated and just plain rude. The vibe, the photos and the couple’s vision all depend on guests putting in a little effort." Following the dress code shows respect for the couple and the experience they’ve curated. Plus, it ensures you’ll blend beautifully into the celebration - and look great in the photos, too!
✅ Embrace the Unplugged Ceremony
"Silencing and putting your phone away during the ceremony is one of the best ways to show respect," says Carlie Knudsen of Event Lab. "Couples pay their photographers and videographers to capture their big moment - not you. Don’t be the person with their cell phone out snapping a pic to post on Facebook; we promise you’ll enjoy the moment more if you’re present with the couple."
✅ Be Actually Present
"This year, mindful presence is trending, states Brianna Schwartz of Bellagala. "That means putting phones away during the ceremony, arriving on time and showing up with genuine joy and support. A wedding is more than just a party; it is a meaningful milestone in a couple’s journey, and the best form of etiquette is to be fully engaged, respectful and thoughtful in both actions and energy."
✅ Follow the Couple’s Gift Guidelines
More and more couples are opting out of traditional gift-giving in favor of donations to a charity or contributions to their honeymoon fund. However, Stephanie and Kelli from Bee Wild Events have noticed that some guests still bring gifts despite the couple's preferences. "Guests should read and follow the couple's chosen gift-giving guidelines," they advise. "It’s unfair to leave gifts with the couple to deal with at the end of the night."
On that same note, Erin Rothmeyer from Jenna Culley Events advises guests to send a gift ahead of time or bring a card on the day. "This allows the couple to avoid the logistical headache of figuring out how to transport gifts home at the end of the night," states Rothmeyer. "After all, who's car will the gifts go in and when and where will they be dropped off? With many couples opting out of formal gift openings, large presents at the venue are often unnecessary." Being mindful of these small details not only shows consideration but also adds to the ease of their special day.
DON'T...
🚫 Ghost the RSVP
Not responding to your invitation or changing your RSVP last-minute can cause a logistical nightmare for the couple. Final headcounts and menu selections are due weeks before the event, so it's essential to follow through and respond promptly. As Melody Hall from Events by Melody puts it, "Changing your RSVP after it's been finalized can mess with the seating arrangements and catering plans."
🚫 Text The Couple on the Wedding Day
Avoid contacting the bride or groom on their wedding day for non-urgent matters, including requests like the wedding address, suggests Natalia Brummond from Belle Âme Vineyard. The couple is focused on enjoying their big day and shouldn’t be distracted by texts or calls. Any questions or requests that aren’t time-sensitive can wait, allowing them to fully embrace the celebration. If you need assistance, reach out to the planner or another point of contact instead. Respecting their time on such an important day helps keep the atmosphere stress-free and lets them be fully present.
🚫 Assume (or Show Up With) a Plus-One
"Unless your invitation explicitly includes a guest, don’t ask, don’t hint and definitely don’t show up with someone uninvited," advises Sydney Muench, Director of Catering & Events at Northern Pacific Center. "Couples are curating intimate, meaningful guest lists and often on tight budgets. Respect that your presence is a gift in itself - not a package deal."
🚫 Post Wedding Photos on Social Media Before the Couple
It’s important to wait for the couple’s approval before sharing wedding photos online. As Stephanie and Kelli from Bee Wild Events advise, "Don’t post pictures of the wedding on social media before the couple does." Respect their desire to control the narrative of their big day and allow them to share their memories first.
🚫 Overindulge at the Open Bar
While it's fun to enjoy the open bar and join in on the celebration, it's important to maintain balance. As Carlie Knudsen from Event Lab puts it, "If the couple is gracious enough to host an open bar, do get your party on - indulge in a specialty cocktail, or maybe even two! Bust out your best choreography on the dance floor, but don’t take it overboard." Enjoy responsibly and be mindful of your behavior to keep the vibe positive for everyone!
🚫 Bring Children to an Adults-Only Wedding
If the couple has requested an adults-only event, respect their wishes by leaving your children at home. As Sarah Trotter of Lasting Impressions Weddings explains, "Bringing your children to the wedding, even when the couple has asked for it to be adults-only, is a major faux pas." This is their special day, and honoring their request helps ensure a smooth and enjoyable celebration for everyone.
🚫 Snag the Decor
It may be tempting, but as Natalia Brummond from Belle Âme Vineyard puts it, “Snatching centerpieces before the night even ends is a definite no-go.” Not only does it disrupt the event's flow and spirit, but most floral arrangements aren’t intended as party favors. Unless explicitly stated, don’t assume you can take any of the floral decor home. Taking items without permission can result in the couple incurring extra charges for missing pieces.
Main photo by Charby & Co, courtesy of Belle Âme Vineyard
