Engagement season is filled with joy, excitement, and often a quiet sense of pressure. Between well-meaning advice, social media timelines, and the feeling that decisions need to be made quickly, many couples feel rushed before they even begin. According to industry experts, the most important early step is not booking anything at all. It is slowing down.
First Things First: Pause and Soak It In
Before any planning begins, experts agree that couples should take time to truly experience the moment.
“First things first take a deep breath and soak it all in. You’re engaged, and this moment deserves to be celebrated before diving into any planning. It’s a one in a lifetime moment worth savoring,” says Lorah Palmer, Director of Hospitality and Senior Event Specialist at 7 Vines Vineyard. This pause allows couples to have the conversations that will shape every decision that follows.
“Start by talking about what matters to both of you. What kind of experience do you want. What feels most important. When that’s clear, planning gets a lot simpler,” shares Natalia Brummond of Belle Âme.
Taking time to celebrate with loved ones is also part of slowing down. “Once the excitement of your engagement settles in, the best first step is to pause and focus on what matters most. Take time to celebrate with close family and friends and truly savor this special moment,” says Melody Hall of Events by Melody.
Palmer echoes the importance of alignment before action. “Begin by discussing your shared vision, priorities, and budget together before contacting venues or vendors. A common mistake couples make is rushing into decisions without aligning on what matters most. Slowing down to plan intentionally keeps the process joyful, meaningful, and far less stressful.”
The Smartest First Planning Steps
Once couples feel aligned, experts recommend focusing on a few foundational decisions that guide everything else. “Planning your wedding doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start by identifying the top three elements that matter most like the venue, food, and entertainment and let those guide your budget,” says Rebekah Bjelland of Mintahoe Catering and Events. “Build a trusted team of vendors, stay organized but flexible, and protect your time by considering a planner if you’re balancing work and life.”
Understanding who will be involved in planning and contributing financially is also key. “Start by sitting down together to discuss who will be involved in planning and contributing financially. Once you have a clear understanding of your planning team and budget, you’ll be in a great position to begin venue tours and start narrowing down potential dates,” explains Lauren Wolden, Event Sales Manager at Glass House.
Organization helps reduce stress and creates clarity. “Once you are ready to plan, get organized with a shared wedding email and spreadsheet to track your budget and inquiries,” suggests Samantha Maroney, Senior Venue Sales Consultant at Bavaria Downs and Bellagala Photography.
Maroney also notes that early guest count decisions can simplify planning. “Determine your guest count early to narrow down venue options, and always tour your favorites in person. They will often feel differently than advertised. If you find an all inclusive venue that offers décor, coordination, and planning support, that is a major win for both time and budget.”
Family conversations also play an important role. “You’re engaged - congratulations! Take time to soak in the excitement and talk with your fiancé about what you both envision for your big day. After a couple of months, discuss your ideas with family, especially if they’ll be helping financially,” says Carrie Scarfino, Marketing Manager at Cragun’s Resort.
What Can Wait and Common Misconceptions
One of the biggest misconceptions of engagement season is the belief that everything needs to happen immediately. “Engagement season comes with excitement and pressure at the same time. Everyone will tell you what to do first, but the truth is, you don’t have to do everything right away,” says Brummond. “You don’t need a date, venue, or guest list in the first week. Take time to enjoy being engaged before it turns into a list of tasks.”
Experts also remind couples that traditional wedding rules are not requirements. “You do not have to get married on a Saturday or in peak season. Fridays, Sundays, or winter weddings can be just as beautiful and almost always more affordable,” says Maroney.
Rushing into decisions without a clear vision is another common pitfall. “Many couples rush into booking vendors or choosing a date before understanding their full vision. Others feel pressured by social media timelines. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. Your engagement is uniquely yours,” share Kasey Nixt and Aubrey Mathiowetz of Holman’s Table.
How to Slow Down and Still Feel Productive
Slowing down does not mean falling behind. It means planning with intention. "At Holman's Table, we love this season of celebration where joy, excitement, and love are in the air. It’s easy to feel like you need to plan everything immediately, but the truth is, engagement season should be savored just as much as the big day itself,” say Nixt and Mathiowetz. “Celebrate before you plan. Schedule a dinner date, pop a bottle, and take time to dream together. When you’re ready, make planning part of the fun. Tour venues, taste menus, and picture your story unfolding.”
Experts also encourage couples to stay present throughout the process and especially on the wedding day. “Most importantly, take moments throughout planning and on your wedding day to slow down, connect, and soak in the joy of the journey,” says Maroney. “On your wedding day, take a quiet moment together after the ceremony to share a toast and soak it all in before the celebration continues.”
The Heart of Engagement Season
At its core, engagement season is about connection, not checklists. “Start with what matters most your marriage. Before diving into details, take time to align with your partner and remember that the celebration is about your life together,” says Maroney.
Bjelland offers a final reminder - “Celebrate along the way and don’t lose sight of what this season is truly about enjoying your engagement and the journey to I do.”
Photo by Poiema courtesy of 7 Vines Vineyard
