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For a long time, same-sex couples have had to hide their relationships from public view, and for decades they have been fighting to make their love just as culturally valid as heterosexuals’. Today, 37 states legally allow gay couples to tie the knot, which means there are more same-sex nuptials being held than ever before. Every couple wants to make their wedding day beautiful and unforgettable, and though it may seem that gay weddings should be inherently novel and exciting, in reality they can just as easily fade into banal ceremonies with tired decorations and dull speeches when they lack the proper planning.
Your same-sex wedding should be a cause for joyous celebration, and you can make it so by seriously considering the following during the early planning stages of your nuptials.
Sympathetic Venue
You probably already know that not every wedding venue is equal in atmosphere — botanical gardens offer a more earthy and humble feel than a sophisticated banquet hall — but you might not have realized that not all venues are eager and willing to work with gay or lesbian couples. While most venues will heartily welcome you as a client, some will not provide the same level of service as they would to straight brides and grooms. Additionally, some traditional venues, like places of worship, may not be willing to cater to same-sex couples at all. Thus, it is essential that you find a venue with a reputation for excellence when it comes to same-sex events. Only then will you be able to relax and enjoy your ceremony and reception without worrying about the quality of service you are receiving.
Appropriate Attire
As much as most people abhor the idea that clothing has meaning, the fact is what we wear is deeply intertwined with psychology and culture, and even at your wedding, your attire can say a lot about your values and personality. During formal events, like the community recognition of your mutual love, most people appreciate elegant and coordinated clothing that reflects cultural traditions. For straight couples, that means tuxedoes, cocktail dresses, and a bright white wedding gown, but at same-sex ceremonies, there is much more room for experimentation.
Lesbian couples frequently mix and match wedding dresses with wedding suits to create a multitude of combinations. If you and your wife-to-be both want to wear gowns or suits, you might consider shopping at the same bridal store or enlisting a close friend to make sure the dresses follow a cohesive style. Clashing colors and patterns at the altar may create chaos at an otherwise refined affair.
Trans and gender queer individuals may also enjoy experimenting with alternative wardrobe choices, but they may have needs that aren’t exactly fulfilled by off-the-rack sizes and styles. Certain designers are particularly adept at constructing gowns and suits for atypical body shapes, and you might enlist their help to create stylish and functional attire for your special day.
Photography Concerns
Though you might initially think that photographing the nuptials of a same-sex couple would require no more skill than doing the same for a straight bride and groom, most wedding photographers argue the opposite. There are a handful of obstacles photographers face when capturing a same-sex wedding. For straight weddings, many photographers know to highlight the wedding gown and take plenty of pictures of the bride, but when a ceremony and reception lack a dramatic dress or there are two (or no) brides, many wedding photographers fall flat. If you want to feel comfortable and confident during your wedding shoot — and end up with beautiful images that will last a lifetime — you may want to find a photographer who has experience with same-sex events.
New Traditions
Almost everyone can recite the age-old traditions associated with weddings: walking down the aisle, exchanging rings, sealing the marriage with a kiss, etc. However, because your same-sex relationship defies most historic traditions, you can pick and choose which traditions you may want to preserve and which need a new spin to match you and your partner’s style. Depending on your officiant and your venue, you can completely renovate the typical stodgy ceremony to be flashy and fun, or you can stick to the tried-and-true methods for a refined and time-honored event.
Cute and Clever Signs
Finally, the joy and excitement so inherent in weddings seems to exist tenfold in same-sex events, and many same-sex couples elect to display this giddiness with various decorations that highlight the differences between their nuptials and a conventional straight service. For example, you might mark your chairs at the reception with a sign that says “Mr. & Mr.,” or you might eschew a usual wedding palette in favor of the prideful rainbow in bouquets, attendants’ attire, centerpieces, or cake. Speaking of the cake, cake toppers are one of the most whimsical ways to honor your same-sex marriage, and many couples have found cute, unique toppers perfect for a same-sex relationship.
Following these few simple tips will ensure your wedding is personal, thoughtful and a celebration not soon forgotten.
