Q. I’d always imagined that I’d have an elegant evening wedding with no children involved, but I’m marrying a guy who has lots of nieces and nephews and whose family thinks that big, noisy weddings are the best kind. I love him and his family dearly, so I’ve accepted the fact that my wedding will be a bit different than what I’d planned. Since there’s no way the kids can be excluded, I’m wondering how to keep it under control. Does it have to mean hundreds of screaming kids running around?
A. Good for you for understanding his family and adjusting your expectations of the wedding accordingly. This is an example of compromise that will likely enhance your relationship. The good news is that with a little planning, you should be able to bring some crowd control to your special day. I’d start by looking into baby-sitting possibilities. Some reception sites offer services, or you could bring in outside babysitters. If any of your fiancé’s nieces and nephews are old enough and responsible, you could enlist them as helpers. Then see if you can plan some activities to keep kids of various ages happy and busy, like bringing in games to play or DVDs to watch. Some venues have a separate room you can use for kids’ entertainment, or perhaps you could cordon off a special area for these activities. Could you include some touches to make the children feel special, for example, “kids only” tables or a dessert with particular appeal to kids? By considering the realities of your ceremony and reception site and the interests of the children, you should be able to come up with a mellower day to satisfy you, and with luck, provide an event that the kids will enjoy and remember.