As a soon-to-be bride, chances are the many details of your wedding have been running through your mind for months, along with some nagging thoughts of what could go wrong. From flowers to photographs, dinner to the dance floor, will it all run perfectly? The answer, according to newlyweds who have just been through it all, is no—but that doesn’t stop your wedding from being one of the best days of your life. Here, brides dish on little things they would’ve done differently, offering advice along the way.
Planning Perfectionists
Planning a smashing wedding starts with a series of fun decisions. Bride Cait Amundson reveled in bringing to life her vision for a perfect Van Dusen Mansion wedding in Minneapolis. Yet as her wedding date approached, Amundson realized she couldn’t handle all the plans alone, and wished she had asked her family for help earlier.
“In the beginning you’re picking the venue, the dress, the food,” Amundson says. But then comes the barrage of last minute to-dos. “I just had such a specific vision of what I wanted that I didn’t want anybody else making decisions. I finally got so overwhelmed, some things started to matter less.”
Brides often confess to biting off more than they can chew during wedding planning. While brides love to be hands-on as they build the day of their dreams, a wedding planner can offer expertise and relieve a lot of pressure.
Brianna Kocka took on the task of planning her Camrose Hill Farm wedding in Stillwater nearly single-handedly (along with some help from Mom, of course). While she successfully executed a local- and organic-focused wedding, she notes an oversight in designing the wedding invitations—she used icons to indicate entrées rather than specifying dishes.
“I was thinking like a designer, not a planner,” says Kocka. “I ended up having to send a lot of follow up emails confirming if people wanted the vegetarian or the meat option. This was a rookie mistake that a wedding planner wouldn’t have missed.”
Whether working independently or with a planner, newlywed Ingrid Beck advises brides not get too attached to their preconceived ideas.
“After we picked out a venue, the theme I had in mind didn’t fit anymore,” says Beck, who had a spring 2014 wedding at Aamodt’s Apple Farm in Stillwater. “Rather than trying to force the concept, I worked with the theme of the venue, and ultimately it turned out really well.”
No matter how solid a bride’s game plan, these newlyweds concede there are some things you just cannot prepare for when the day rolls around. Not to fear—the mishaps often lead to laugh-out-loud moments.
Beck, fresh from the salon with her veil in place, literally hid from her husband when she and her bridesmaids almost bumped into him back at the hotel. “I actually ducked behind a car so he wouldn’t see me,” she laughs. “It probably looked pretty ridiculous to the people around.”
Amundson confides that wardrobe malfunctions are inevitable. “I think five minutes into our reception, I spilled guacamole on my dress,” she recalls with a giggle. And even though she didn’t drink red wine all night, somehow stains of it ended up all over her dress. “I have no idea how that happened. Your dress will not stay white!”
And ladies, shoe mishaps seem to be unavoidable. After enduring a broken heel and bridesmaid gowns ripping from being stepped on, both Amundson and Beck recommend having shoe repair and sewing kits on hand.
Mistakes That Work
Although some aspects of a wedding are bound to go awry, the errors aren’t always catastrophic—and in some cases, they even make the day better.
“If something small goes wrong, nobody’s going to notice it—and you might not even notice it!” says Briana Anders, who married at St. Paul’s A’BULAE.
Point proven by a popcorn machine that malfunctioned at the end of Anders’ reception. Although the bride wasn’t aware of the problem at the time, she was thrilled when her wedding planner got her a 50 percent refund on the machine later.
Similarly, Beck was determined that her wedding dress be a surprise to her guests, but she was unexpectedly delighted when she bumped into a close friend from college in the parking lot prior to the ceremony.
“I hadn’t seen her for a long time, so it was really special to run into her,” says Beck. “Sometimes the unexpected moments end up being your favorite memories of the day.”
Anders agrees that miracles can spring from mishaps. After spending weeks obsessing about the weather for her outdoor rooftop ceremony, her worst fears were realized the morning of the wedding when dark clouds loomed overhead. But in the end, she was pleasantly surprised.
“As soon as we said our vows, the clouds literally parted and the sun came out,” says Anders. “We have great photographs of it, and all anybody could talk about for the first 20 minutes of cocktail hour was how cool it was that the sun came out.”
Hindsight Is 20/20
Beyond the hilarious blunders and mess-ups that turn out for the better, brides can have a few regrets about moments they wish had gone differently.
Kocka encountered a few troubles with her timeline, after tardy family members forced her to push back the evening’s schedule by half an hour. Her caterer also overlooked a guest’s food allergy, but she opted to roll with the things that were out of her control.
“I tried my best to anticipate the needs of our guests in all circumstances,” she says. “While you can’t control the unknown, you can plan ahead and have contingency plans for all possible outcomes.”
Amundson wishes she had devised a more concrete plan for wedding photographs. Her heart sank when she got the photos later and realized that while there were 15 pictures of the groomsmen, there were only three of her with her bridesmaids. She was also missing a photograph with her siblings.
“I had a picture with my mom and dad, but not the picture of me with my brother and sister just hanging out, which I wanted, and I was so upset,” she says. “I wish I had a more thought-out shot list for my photographer.”
The trade-off of rushing through photographs was getting to spend more time with guests, says Amundson. It’s something Anders wishes she had placed more focus on.
“One thing I thought about the day after was the fact that I wasn’t able to talk to every single person at the wedding,” she said. “People came from all over the place. I know it’s hard, but if it’s important to you, take time to go to each table and talk to each person.”
Relax and Raise a Glass
In hindsight, none of the newlyweds could boast of a totally seamless wedding day. Despite the imperfections, all advise brides to relax and enjoy what will become a wonderful lifelong memory.
“If you let yourself get caught up in the little things that are going wrong, you will miss your wedding day,” says Beck. “The day flies by so fast, and you have to take the time to focus on your guests and your spouse.”
Amundson discloses the good advice she received from close friend. “You can have a perfect wedding or a happy wedding,” she says. “At the end of the day, I was married, and that was all that mattered.”
And when it comes to stressing about small fiascos, Kocka offers some tried and true advice for letting go: “A glass or two of champagne can really do wonders.”