Wedding Day Regrets

Planning Tips

Wedding Day Regrets

You donned the gorgeous gown, walked down that wedding aisle and had a beautiful party to celebrate the love of your life. Chances are, it was one of the best days of your life. But if you could go back and do it again, what little things would you change, and what small disasters could have been avoided? We asked local brides to tell their side of the story, dishing on those little regrets and extending words of wisdom to future blushing brides.

Wedding planning predicaments
There’s no doubt about it, most brides can’t do all the planning themselves. They usually employ an arsenal of friends, relatives and service professionals to make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. One bride, Erin Walsh of Newport Beach, Calif., who wed at Carleton College in Northfield, made the mistake of keeping the “master wedding plan” a little too close to the vest. Planning the wedding from afar, she communicated with individual family and wedding party members about most aspects of the wedding, but when she arrived in town, she realized the total plan was all on her shoulders.

“I was the only one in possession of the entire wedding blueprint,” Walsh recalls. “To do it differently, I would’ve shared my vision and to-do list further in advance.”

Natalie Curran, who got married last summer, also regrets having a little too much on her planning plate once the big day rolled around. “If I had it do all over again I would hire a wedding coordinator at least for the day of the wedding,” she admits. “I was worrying about flower deliveries and seat cushions being put on the chairs for the ceremony—exactly the opposite of what every bride should be doing right before her wedding!”

And there’s one lesson as old as time that got the better of Abby Riley and her husband Connor: Check everything, then check again. “I was so excited to get our wedding programs in the mail the day before the wedding that I busted out in a little dance around the house!” reveals Abby. But “the happy dance stopped pretty abruptly when my sister pointed out that not one, but two of the groomsmen were missing from the program, and a guy who wasn’t a groomsman was printed instead! Fortunately, Connor’s groomsman thought the whole thing was hilarious.” The moral of the story: “Remember to triple-check your programs before you get all 250 of them printed!”

Wedding reception redos
Your wedding reception will likely be an event to remember for your guests—just hope it’s for all the right reasons. For two local brides, the venue choice made all the difference in their planning. Riley opted to host her ceremony outdoors, with the reception at the Varsity Theater in Minneapolis, both of which provided beautiful built-in décor.

“Best of all, [at the Varsity] we didn’t need reserved seating,” says Riley, “which removed a ton of stress for planning, and people actually preferred moving around and being with their friends.”
Curran chose a venue that she and her hubby-to-be loved—Round Barn Farm—but they had to face a couple consequences of their decision. “We fell in love with the location and charm of our venue and signed the contract the very day we looked at it,” she reveals. “However, it was up to us to arrange the rentals of everything, from tables, chairs and plates to sound equipment and portable toilets. Things quickly added up in terms of cost and stress.”

For Kelly Lampe, who planned an Arizona wedding while living and working in Minnesota, flowers proved to be one reception element that caused more than a smidge of anxiety. “If I could re-do anything about my wedding, I would choose a different florist,” she admits. “Although I think the flowers turned out well for the wedding, the amount of time and effort it took to get to that point was more than I could have ever expected!”

Lampe put down a deposit with the florist before seeing a mock-up of the floral plans, and when she actually saw the practice arrangements, she was horrified. After a lot of research, phone calls and e-mails, Lampe and her florist came to an agreement on a plan. But, she confesses, “I wouldn’t have wished that original centerpiece on my worst enemy.”

Then, of course, there’s the food. Curran praised her caterer to the hilt for their ability to handle a bustling and tiny kitchen space in 90-degree heat, and for serving a delicious family-style meal. “Guests loved passing plates, and it really encouraged conversation,” she discloses.

But make sure you and your food providers are on the same page, as one bride wished she had: “Let your caterer know that ‘fresh fruit’ does not include canned mandarin oranges.”

Destination wedding dilemmas
If you go the destination-wedding route, make sure you have a plan to handle the small stuff from afar. Lampe regrets not taking vacation time to fly to the Arizona wedding site more frequently and meet with vendors for in-person consultations so there were no unexpected, unpleasant surprises (like her unattractive floral arrangements).

Walsh also planned from afar for her wedding, and while the Internet made things fairly easy, there was a “a lot of pressure when we finally arrived in town on the final week before the wedding,” she recalls. “Let’s just say [my husband] Paul was in hardball negotiation with the caterer less than 48 hours before the wedding.”

What can help alleviate that on-site stress? For Kristan Nolan, who held a destination wedding in sunny Mexico, a wedding planner made all the difference. “All our planning was done in Minnesota,” Nolan explains. “It was nerve-wracking at first, but we had an amazing planner to help us every step of the way. She was able to help negotiate with our resort and really personalize the seemingly rigid and standard destination packages.”

Nolan also shares another lesson learned: “One of the best decisions we made was to arrive in Mexico a few days prior to our guests. We were able to familiarize ourselves with the location and take care of final pre-wedding errands.”

Going with the flow
When it comes down to it, all brides learn that there are just some things you can’t plan for, no matter how hard you try. Walsh, for instance, was prepared to handle a few wedding-day raindrops, but couldn’t have expected the tornado warning that sounded during her reception. “We were herded into the basement (smart guests went to the bar first) to wait out the warning,” she recalls. “My mother-in-law recounted a story from early on in Paul and my relationship, and the unexpected weather ended up producing some really fun moments that we wouldn’t have had otherwise.”

For Riley, a major traffic jam got in the way of her pre-wedding-day plans to relax with her family (and watch Father of the Bride), and do a makeup run-through. “My sister and I ended up getting stuck in a horrendous traffic jam and didn’t get home until 11:30 p.m.,” she says. “We spent those hours in the car singing to the Glee soundtrack at the top of our lungs and having a ball! This stressful situation turned into one of my favorite pre-wedding memories.”

Whatever the mishap, calamity, lament or regret, all brides confess that none of the small stuff matters, and in the end, it simply adds to the charm of your nuptials. Nolan laughs, “I enjoyed the mishaps throughout the day because each one made our wedding that much more memorable. I mean honestly, what would your wedding have been like without that creepy uncle dancing with your bridesmaids?”

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